Horrible Habbits

Recently I discovered new things… horrible habits I have.

I put too much hope in people, and thats purely because I don’t actually open up my eyes to people when I meet them… I just make up the person I want them to be in my head and I always get screwed over by reality when they show their real bitter self.

I have a different view of how our relationship, their personality, that person as a whole is like than what they actually are like.

I don’t think that this is the fault of that person or in fact me, its just a matter of miscommunication. Because they don’t change who they are and I cant count on it but it sucks to see the difference of what they were once in my mind and what I now realize they were when  that sheet of blurry perfection of a time is not messing with my vision.

This isn’t just with one person either, lately its with most of the people I know or get to know, at first they seem to be the suitable person I have in my head, we get into one little fight and I get to see the imperfections that I hadn't noticed before to make me stay away from them.

And one would think with this happening so much I would learn by now to be more aware of it however each time it just hurts more.

No matter how hard I want to I can’t stay away from human interactions so I just have to learn to see people for what they are at the beginning before trusting them too much.

However sometimes it is that one persons fault. 

Sometimes some people pretend to be who there not.

Say they love things they don’t.

Laugh at things they don’t find funny.

Hang out with people who they are looking to use…

Those are the ones that are rare

And the ones that no matter who you are and how careful you are you will meet at least once in your life.

Depending on how close you were with that person the impact of the bomb that explodes in your face when you learn the truth about them varies… but either way its still a bomb being blown in your face… its gonna hurt.

This seems like a depressing topic but with recent events I just needed to let this out, more for whoever reads this to be more aware and even more for me to get all of it off my chest.

Nevertheless there are also some astounding people out there who make you realize not the entire human race is too ghastly. 

xx