Did You Feel That? 2

You walk down the cold, dark street

Your pony tail wiping back and forth as you throw your head back laughing

You pull your purple velvet jacket closer to your bare skin, regretting wearing a dress

Turning your head to check if the boy who was looking you up in the shop is still following you

Amused smile plays on his lips as you glance at him

Taking your time to turn back, you look at your friends to see if they had noticed

Glad that they haven’t, you don’t even notice the rain starting to drizzle

You feel your phone buzzing in your pocket and as you grab it

Your fingers turn cold from it being in your pocket this whole time

You swipe right as you flirtatiously glimpse behind you again

Her weeping, sobbing words slow your heart

A rush of chills charges to your head

Everything around you seems to stop 

Your vision blurs as tears fill your eyes

You don’t know wether to scream or cry so you do both as your friends surround you

Someone in the midst of all this has grabbed your phone asking what happened

They fill everyone else in and the on going and never ending pity looks begin that moment

You don’t feel the cold anymore

You don’t even feel heat

You feel numb

Until you feel the stinging in your eyes from tear and mascara being mixed in your eyes

Next thing you know your sitting by her bed at the hospital 

Your tears falling on her cold and blue face

Memories of her bubbly laughs coming up behind your closed eyes

Not quite matching the face you see as you open them

You run to the bathroom

Blaming your self

You grab the cold marbled sink

Looking in the mirror you see a girl

Her eyes bloodshot

Her blond hair poking out everywhere from what used to be a pony tail

Her skin is blotchy 

You sink to the frozen floor 

Kicking your feet at the wooden wall so hard it starts to tear

Screaming so loud it feels like your throat is ripping apart as you taste blood

Looking down on the ground you punch the floor

Refusing to accept the fact that she's dead

How can she be dead?

You helped raise her

She wasn't just a sister to you

It had started with you sleeping next to her to protect her from the monsters under the bed

To her sleeping next to you, holding you in her tiny arms when she noticed you’d been crying

You look down on the cracked tile under you and notice the drops of blood falling 

From your knuckles

What a mess

If only you hadn’t been so caught up with the boy who had looked at you in the shop

Maybe you could’ve known

Could've felt something

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Wrote this long way back and although I haven't experienced this personally I'm always effected with peoples deaths and even if I had known them for two days or my whole life I always feel an air melancholy  thinking about any of them...

xx