Expectations

Lets talk about expectations

it is inevitable that you will be judged on anything that you do, no matter it being public or private and somehow someone finds out. Those judgements could be positive or negative however either way they come from expectations. Expectations that others have either set for you based on knowing you for a while or based on what is the norm in the current society and environment that we are in. 

Given the different situations above however it is also a known fact that almost everyone feels uncomfortable being judged.

“Why?

Why should we feel uncomfortable being judged based on what others have gathered on us or from society?” - asks you 

Because as a matter of fact, if no one has told you today, even if you think you know someone fully and throughly you are tragically wrong because even if you know one aspect of them completely that can change. I say this with experience not only by observing myself but also from things I’ve noticed from the people around me.

When someone says “ wow you’ve grown up so much” or “ I cant believe how much you've changed” it’s usually from someone who hasn't seen you in a while and there for can compare with what they knew of you before and the you now. However when you spend a lot of time with someone you don't notice those subtle changes and may think that those changes are not going on.

However we are… we are all changing even if we ourself don't know it, and I’ve talked about this before in another blogpost so I’m not going to “re-rant” if you’d like to call it that.

Expectations however do not only raise out of people but with objects as well.

People legitimately set expectations on objects.

1) “My mom’s a good cook so i don't know if you’ll be as good”

2) “I’m not liking her picture because the lighting is off”

3) “the last book was so good but I’m just not feeling this one.”

4) “I heard she does videos, is she trying to be a youtuber or something?”

So lets go over them

1. you are literally not only putting expectation on the cook for her or him to be compared to your mom but also you are putting expectation on the food…to be as good enough.. another example of food expectations is going to a restaurant and saying the food sucks..it shows that even for something as simple as food we need to feel satisfaction from or else it doesn't meet our standards
2. this one you are either putting expectations on the photographer, the site or app that you have seen the photo on, the photo, the app the photo was edited on or the actual seen! You are comparing this photo with the others that she has taken and therefor creating an expectation, almost a criteria, for her other photos to follow
3. expectation not only on the author, but the plot that the last book had to lead up to and maybe the next one will follow. The chances are your expectations for the next book will be lower and therefor you will see it as a better book than this one just because of it. You are not able to think clearlyy because your judgements will get in the way
4. this one angers me because I’ve not only seen this for youtube but also instagram, twitter, Facebook, blogs or any other way of social networking sites that some people are getting their source of income out of. Since this is going on people set their expectations higher for those people who are making money out of this because now they have to have higher quality, be funnier, more inspirational, etc because now you are judging them by thinking how they are worthier than the other people on that site for getting money out of that. However expectations are also being set for other people who are genuinely trying to enjoy that site or app! Just because those people who are now using that app as a source of income, they have popularized that app or website and therefore set expectations for everyone who tries to enjoy those sites because now not only do they look pathetic for taking partake in something so “basic”, “regualar” or dare I say it “popular” they also now have to do whatever that youtuber, instagramer, or other social networker is doing to exceed those thoughts of how those people became successful. These people judge not only the “famous” people on that site but also anyone else. One reason I think this happens is because when people try to go on those apps and sites as a creative outlet they make themselves so vulnerable and reveal so much about themselves that other people are not used to it and automatically feel to tell that person, or talk behind that person, about how she or he is doing it all wrong or isn't supposed to do it at all.

I’m not saying expectations are all bad in fact a lot of them are very necessary like if we didn't have a sense of judgement when there was a rats tail in our kfc and just ate it I’m sure we wouldn’t come out normal of that and there for we need expectations for those things. However I think a lot of it is very pointless and I think we all know when we are judging someone to be mean, or know we are being mean when we are doing it. We know it’s not necessary judgement yet we do it anyway. I think when we get that sort of sense thats when we need to stop because chances are most of our judgements are on what people enjoy doing and that be something that doesn't fall in to the social norms like wearing revealing clothes, “too much” make up, a lot of colour and not enough of it because thats your fashion sense. Or listening to a particular artist thats very popular, or someone unheard of , or someone who doesn't even sing in their music because thats your music taste. OR when we get bored we watch netflix, go on tumblr, go out and drive, take a swim or just sit and stare at the wall because that’s what’s fun for us. I think people need to lower their expectations on these things obviously other things that  I didn't mention but fall under the category of things that make others happy. Because by judging someone’s reason of happiness you are making them unhappy even in their once happy place and I think that’s the worst thing you can do to someone.

I’m not editing this because I know if I do I will take parts out of it because I think it will….. make people judge but hence this whole thing being about NOT judging and not expecting a lot out of things I wont edit my rant.

xx